What to Expect as a Nimble Newbie

Courtney Lill

August 27, 2015

    Starting any new job is a huge life change. You have to prepare to meet new people, follow new rules, and adapt to a new office culture. At NimbleUser, it goes a little bit beyond that. If you’re coming from the standard suit and tie wearing, cubicle dwelling type of office, you’re about to enter a whole new world. 

    When you come in on your first day, you will likely be asked by at least 5 people if you would like some coffee. This is because we assume everyone pumps as much caffeine into their bodies as we do. If you don’t have a cup in your hand, we’ll assume no one has offered. (Because who turns down coffee?)

    While drinking your first cup of the signature NimbleUser brew (aka heaven in a cup), you will be given an office tour and meet everyone for the first time. If you’re like me, you’ll spend many days staring at the “Meet the Nimble Team” page of our website trying to put names to all of the faces. When in doubt, you are probably safe saying “Matt” (we have plenty of them). 
    At some point, you will need a refill of the magical coffee and you’ll hear the most heartbreaking sound in the entire world — the gurgle of the empty coffee pot. At this point, you have two options: you can flee the scene of the crime or you can ask someone for help to make a new pot. If you choose the first option, you will be chased out of the office by an angry mob and shunned forever…

    Ok, that’s an exaggeration. But you will never, ever live it down, no matter how good your defense is — I’m speaking from experience on this one, folks. Sure, it may seem like the longest 8 minutes of your life while the coffee brews (coffeemaker minutes are on the same level as treadmill minutes and microwave minutes), but it’s worth it to avoid the shame of leaving it empty for the next Nimbler. The moral of the story is: 
    Although hard to believe, coffee is not the only thing that is sacred to us. Lunch time is also very dear to our hearts. We have a whole Hipchat room dedicated to discussing where everyone is going. We also have what we call “Dave’s Lunch Service”. Everyday (except Friday), Dave, our Systems Administrator, sends out an office-wide email telling everyone where he is going for lunch. If you want lunch from the same place, you can simply respond to Dave and let him know what you want. He will then add it to your tab, which you pay monthly. You can imagine the challenge (or famine) that hits when Dave is on vacation and we all have to figure out how to feed ourselves…

    It is extremely likely that you will someday take advantage of this service and inevitably, you will hit the dreaded “Reply All” button and send your lunch order to the entire office at least once. You can pray that it happens on a day you order something sophisticated like a fancy spinach salad with the dressing on the side, but I assure you it will happen the day you order 3 slices of pepperoni pizza and 4 sushi rolls from Wegmans.
    These are just a few of the experiences you can expect during your first few weeks at NimbleUser. Don’t let any of this scare you — we’re here to help you through all of your rookie mistakes. We’ve all been there. Eventually, you’ll learn your way around and begin to feel like part of a family… a big coffee-addicted, lunch-loving, happy family. 

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